Day 624

They found leukemia blasts in Benjamin’s blood today. I hate that I am typing this right now. I’ve only recently stopped shaking enough to do so. The details of the morning that I would normally be processing here seem faded, muted, like they happened a million years ago; the tears when he was accessed, the… Continue Reading Day 624

Day 623

Sleep was elusive again last night. We are entering a new season of scans and waiting times and I couldn’t quiet my mind. This morning’s bridge walk with my dear friend was sorely needed. Benji’s hands itched again today. It doesn’t seem related to Septra. Maybe his night sweating is intensifying his detoxification? I don’t… Continue Reading Day 623

Day 622

I broke my own rule last night and stayed up way, way, way too late researching. My mind was in turbo mode after our Moffitt meeting. I thought it would be safe to lift my moratorium, but it was not. I was kind of wrecked today. This will not happen again. Today contained some frustrating phone calls.… Continue Reading Day 622

Day 607

We got home last night this morning at 3am. Benjamin went through the highly invasive emergency room protocol: port access, peripheral poking and blood draw, insanely sticky nodes on his chest, prophylactic intravenous antibiotics, a bolus of saline, a chest x-ray, and a respiratory viral swab that went way, way too far up the nasal… Continue Reading Day 607