Day 622

I broke my own rule last night and stayed up way, way, way too late researching. My mind was in turbo mode after our Moffitt meeting. I thought it would be safe to lift my moratorium, but it was not. I was kind of wrecked today. This will not happen again. Today contained some frustrating phone calls.… Continue Reading Day 622

Day 620

I had an alligator dream last night. I used to have them all the time; they have been the subject of a large portion of my life’s nightmares. It’s been quite a while since one has appeared. I could see last night’s monster, large and smiling, under the surface of some cloudy body of water.… Continue Reading Day 620

Day 616

Sometimes people just wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Today, it was Benjamin. As with everything “off,” I wondered if it was cancer-related–or if it just was. Is his body detoxifying and making him feel extra crappy? Is he more tired than usual? Is he in pain? Or is he just an… Continue Reading Day 616

Day 615

After we dropped Banyan off at the bus stop this morning, bagel in hand, Benji and I made a quick run for flowers. We stopped at the house to arrange them and tie on gold ribbons for Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Three bunches, one each for the nurses on the seventh floor, the infusion center, and… Continue Reading Day 615

Day 81

Benjamin sprang out of bed this morning and got dressed for school. He said “I’m so excited!” and was one giant smile. His nerves rose with the sun; by the time we dropped Banyan off, Benji had a tummyache. I know it was butterflies, because I had them too. We decided to return home for… Continue Reading Day 81