Day 302

The boys had no school today. I was hoping that would mean sleeping in a little, but it was not to be. Because Benji’s body endured the Methotrexate toxicity, every lumbar puncture from now until the end of treatment will be followed by two doses of Leucovorin, 48 and 60 hours after the procedure; Hour 60… Continue Reading Day 302

Day 299

Benjamin began long term maintenance today. (I notice I have a tendency to isolate this fact, like it needs verification. It is still sinking in.) It was a super early morning. We all left when it was still dark outside, and we were a sleepy crew. By the time Banyan and his friends had boarded their… Continue Reading Day 299

Day 298

I am being granted the opportunity to learn the same lessons over and over and over again. Like, two seemingly contradictory emotions (i.e. anger and gratitude) can and should be able to coexist–one does not need to be released before experiencing the other. What does need to be released are expectations. Again and again. Benjamin did not go… Continue Reading Day 298

Day 293

Benji will be entering long term maintenance on Tuesday. I need to just let that sink in for a moment. Regardless of how he got here, Benji’s frontline treatment is over. No more long days in the Infusion Center. No more shots in his legs. No more bright red or neon green liquid flowing through his veins.… Continue Reading Day 293

Day 278

I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I was reviewing the events of the past ten days, and my anger was mounting. I thought about all of the tests and procedures that Benji has gone through unnecessarily. I thought about all of the moments that eroded our confidence. I lingered on the “what if’s” for too… Continue Reading Day 278