Day 330

After yesterday’s feast, at about 1:30pm, I gave Benji his first rescue dose of Leucovorin that followed Tuesday’s lumbar puncture. His second was at 1:30am. I set my alarm to wake up and give him his pill, but he was already awake, up for a late night bathroom break. I know it was just a coincidence, but in the moment I liked to think his body’s infinite wisdom was at work again.

There was more beauty today, all around us. More trail rides, more fires, another gorgeous orange moon rising over the water. Kathy made a delicious turkey broth soup, Gana and I helped Grandma put up her Christmas tree, and Michael and the boys went into the woods to gather firewood. When they came back, Michael taught Banyan how to split wood. This is an age old rite of passage in the country. Banyan shined during his indoctrination. This act of strength came naturally to him. As he split the wood, Benji stacked every piece thoughtfully into piles of oak and pine, ready to keep his family warm tonight. Michael was beaming at his sons.

Later, Banyan made choices that did not exactly result in beaming parents. Most of them were directly related to Benjamin. We’ve talked a lot this trip about Banyan’s feelings and growth this year. We know it’s certainly hard enough to navigate preteen waters, even without a brother with cancer. Overall, Banyan has done a brilliant job. But at times he still struggles with impulse control, and it gets him into trouble.

Tonight I told Banyan that I noticed how difficult and how rocky the trail was that he conquered on his dirt bike today. I saw how he split an entire load of firewood, and how impressed I was with his skill and self control. I reminded him how kind and good he truly is, deep down, and that he is capable of doing the right thing every single time, if he will only listen to that deep inner voice. Most people aren’t born with a heart and spirit as big as his.

Tomorrow is the annual Wilson family reunion. We’ll see many more people who have prayed for our family this year. We’ll have yet another feast and a chance to give thanks. And we’ll do a little more trail riding as the sun goes down and the moon rises, orange and full, over the pond.

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