It’s been six weeks and a day since Benjamin’s last breath. I’ve been thinking a lot about this period of time. Six weeks. At six weeks after the births of… Continue Reading Postmortem.
Waking up dreamless yesterday morning made me feel empty, and my emptiness soon evolved into frustration. I was working on elements of Benjamin’s memorial service on my computer, and the pictures… Continue Reading Empty and Full.
Last night, sleep came a little more easily. I woke up multiple times, and I know Michael did too, but the wake-ups were short-lived. We are warming to our bed’s embrace.… Continue Reading In the Moment.
This has been the hardest day. Even yesterday, the day my Benjamin died, was easier than this. Today he wasn’t here. And I wanted him to be. So badly. I… Continue Reading After.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and where we spend the holiday night is still very much up in the air. Benjamin and I both slept long and well last night. When… Continue Reading Day 722/94
Today was a very good day. I admit the holiday-ness of it all threatened my emotional stability more than once. But Benji felt better today than he has in many… Continue Reading Day 693/65