Day 759/131

Rhythm. A word and an idea I’ve always loved. Tonight, our rhythms feel very off. I’m listening to Benjamin breathe through an oxygen mask while he sleeps. His breaths are short, staccato, labored. He has a fever and his resting heart rate is entirely too high. He got a chest x-ray just before midnight, and… Continue Reading Day 759/131

Day 758/130

Everything seemed to take forever today. I don’t know how much of this is based in reality and how much stems from my own anxiety. Benjamin has received his three doses of chemotherapy, but the first wasn’t hung until almost 9pm. Benjamin continues to sleep quite a lot. It’s his escape from pain and it’s fine… Continue Reading Day 758/130

Day 757/129

Benjamin was sitting on the toilet at 3am. He had just vomited and the basin was still full at my feet. His head rested on my belly while I held the tubes for his IV fluid and liquid nutrition up off of the floor with one hand, and scratched his back with the other. We… Continue Reading Day 757/129

Day 232

Banyan downloaded a new audiobook–Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing–to keep Benji entertained on the drive over the Skyway this morning. It is read by Judy Blume herself, so it’s really quite good. I’m glad Banyan joined us today. It’s the last weekday before the new school year, and probably one of the last times he’ll get… Continue Reading Day 232

Day 224

It seemed like there was a sort of dissonance in the air right from the starting gate today. There was tension between Benji and me, between Banyan and Michael; even the dogs seemed restless. Perhaps last night’s meteor shower stirred things up a bit. I don’t know. But as the day progressed, one thing became clear:… Continue Reading Day 224