Benjamin has been away from this world for 65 days. These last two weeks have been cathartic, fascinating, riveting, unexpected and reassuring. As this Easter season comes to a close, I am filled with a sense of renewal. Reaffirmed faith. Belief in the new growth on the trees. Appreciation for the plump caterpillar, unaware of his… Continue Reading Renewal.
Tag: dreams
Empty and Full.
Waking up dreamless yesterday morning made me feel empty, and my emptiness soon evolved into frustration. I was working on elements of Benjamin’s memorial service on my computer, and the pictures I needed to see weren’t loading fast enough for my liking. I was grumpy. I needed to get outside. In the backyard, on a gorgeous… Continue Reading Empty and Full.
Weeks.
I woke up too early this morning, and no one had anywhere to be. The same was true the morning I dreamed of Benjamin, so I went back to sleep, willing my brain to repeat the gift. It did not work. Such an empty feeling. Benjamin was just a few days older when he died than Banyan was… Continue Reading Weeks.
Dreams.
I slept soundly but woke up too early this morning. I listened to my body when it begged for more sleep. I was rewarded with a vivid dream. The dream was in real time. Monday morning. We were sleeping in the camper, but we had a tent set up outside, and Benjamin tumbled out of it.… Continue Reading Dreams.
Day 417
I had two dreams last night that I can remember. In one, I was holding Benjamin, who was about a year and a half old. He was naked and we were at the beach. I was flipping him upside down and back up again, and he was laughing, and putting his head on my chest… Continue Reading Day 417