Day 693/65

Today was a very good day. I admit the holiday-ness of it all threatened my emotional stability more than once. But Benji felt better today than he has in many days, and we just have so much to be thankful for.

• I am thankful for the blood donor whose platelets were infused into Benjamin’s veins this morning.
• I am thankful for the fifty other donors who have given of themselves during his treatment, without thanks, without reward.
• I am thankful for a team of nurses who empowers Benjamin with respect for his own informed decision making.
• I am thankful for a team of nurses who have become my friends.
• I am thankful for doctors who are using the most brilliant and creative parts of their minds in the name of Benjamin’s healing.
• I am thankful for doctors who are accessible by email, even on holidays.
• I am thankful for science. I am thankful for research. I am thankful for clinical trials.
• I am thankful for new paths that are forged when others are blocked.
• I am thankful for hot baths for Benjamin and hot showers for me.
• I am thankful for the connection of other mothers who have spent nights in rooms like this one.
• I am thankful for a mighty village of friends who let me know they have our backs, always.
• I am thankful for our family, here and in scattered places, who are present for us in unbelievable ways.
• I am thankful for in-laws whose love language is home cooking.
• I am thankful for a delicious hand delivered Thanksgiving feast.
• I am thankful that Benjamin ate more bites of food than he has in days.
• I am thankful that our network of support has deep roots.
• I am thankful that I did not have to leave my baby crying alone in a hospital room tonight, like our next door neighbor did.
• I am thankful that I have somehow had the guidance to know how to answer hard questions, when I don’t know the answers myself.
• I am thankful for Banyan, who thinks with his heart, brings us joy, and helps us all feel normal.
• I am thankful that Benji was able to go outside today and feel fresh air on his skin.
• I am thankful that I know how to use my voice.
• I am thankful that I am healthy enough to take care of Benjamin.
• I am thankful that I am supported enough to take care of Benjamin.
• I am thankful are the words Michael and I inscribed inside our wedding bands almost fifteen years ago. I am thankful for everything he is and everything he does.
• I am thankful that Benjamin did not have a fever today.
• I am thankful that I have learned to live in this moment, most of the time.
• I am thankful that in this moment, I have two children who are comfortable, happy, and loved.

We started a gratitude tree in our room a couple of weeks ago. We have added leaves for things we are thankful for and invited guests and nurses and doctors to do the same. Our tree is full.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” – Meister Eckhart