Day 470

day 470I was up super late last night. I had to administer Leucovorin to Benji at 1:20am, 60 hours after his lumbar puncture. Once the hour passed midnight, I made the decision to stay awake. I was nervous I wouldn’t wake up easily if I went to sleep.

I checked into my online support group, knowing many moms would be awake. Several mothers posted yesterday with fears of relapse (which is officially my least favorite word in the English language). They certainly weren’t sleeping. There were others who were “on the clock” like I was, and others who don’t sleep, just because. So, I asked them to tell me a joke. Within minutes I had dozens of comments and my sides were hurting I was laughing so hard. I gave Benjamin the Leucovorin, but I didn’t want to go to sleep because I was enjoying the company of these women so much. It’s kind of crazy how much I love them.

Benji took his Leucovorin pill easily but then said he couldn’t go back to sleep. He was too sweaty. I reminded him he had just been asleep, but I knew what he meant. I could see the steroids oozing out of him, all over his body and bed. I’ll be washing his sheets this weekend for sure. Today after baseball practice he said it too; his back felt “too hot.” The seat of the car against his skin felt too hot. Steroids.

I’m so thankful it’s the weekend I could nearly cry. We’ve all had a big week, and next week looks to be even bigger. Michael has worked so hard this week, well into most nights, solving unexpected problems and managing tenuous situations right and left. Banyan has overcome some major middle school obstacles. He has really impressed me with his inner compass, and raised my confidence level in him quite a bit. Benjamin has had a lumbar puncture and an increase in all of his medicines while navigating school and guitar and baseball. I am trying my best to keep everyone happy and healthy. This weekend will be an opportunity to reset, renew, and reconnect. My favorite days.

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