I was given a moment of grace this morning. A feeling of calm so complete it washed over my whole being. I’m deeply grateful, and re-rooted into the ground.
After over-analyzing my growing paranoia about Benji’s pill box, today the answer floated into my house through the open door on a cool midmorning breeze. We are infinitely and boundlessly supported. The same power that has assured me, without fail, of Benjamin’s complete recovery since his diagnosis, also has this piece of things under control. Sure, I have a big responsibility here. Adherence to protocol is a critical part of healing. But we are boundlessly supported. The same force that has enabled Benjamin’s healing has empowered me to care for him. I felt a peace I hadn’t felt for several months. It came into my house, it acknowledged my fear, and promptly replaced it. We’ve got this.
The rest of the day felt light and productive. I worked with focus nearly the entire time the boys were at school, except for a few minute’s work on the book project. I am starting to assimilate a structure that I would have found helpful in the beginning. It’s turning into a handful of pages that I can bring with me to an agent or publisher and say, “Will this work?”
The after school hours were go-go-go. Benji had homework and guitar practice, then a trip to the batting cages for personal instruction. Banyan had an after-school chess tournament followed by basketball practice. All things the boys love. I logged many miles in my car and many hours in my crock pot. I was happy.
It’s Film Festival week here in Sarasota. Tonight Gana and I went to see a documentary about the life of Maya Angelou. It was riveting, and made me even more inspired by the woman than I already was, which is monumental. Her words held such power that they leave no room for doubt. They just ripple, they command, they pass through. They offer grace, and peace, and hope. Rainbows in the clouds.