Day 87

Sundays are precious days.

Sundays are for sleeping in and for second pots of coffee. For Sunday brunch and family dinner. For cheese grits. For creativity. For visiting with neighbors. For connecting with grandparents. Sundays are for reflection, which always leads to gratitude.

We enter this next week of Benjamin’s treatment feeling ready. The boys spent a nice chunk of time on schoolwork, with Michael’s help, and I took a few hours to prepare for the long days ahead. I took my research and my weekly solace at Whole Foods. The week’s meals are planned, or are being generously delivered. Granola, lunches, and quick breakfasts are made. Fruit is chopped for snacking. New batches of detox tea and bath salts are mixed. Prescription refills have been called in, and the week’s pills are split and placed in their proper compartments. The hospital bag is restocked. The coffee and alarms are set to wake us bright and early tomorrow morning. I give thanks for the time and space to prepare in this way. It provides me with an elusive sense of control. I’ll wake with confidence tomorrow.

Michael’s mother and sister have brought us dinner at least once a week since Benjamin’s diagnosis. Tonight, for the first time all year, we were able to come to their house to share a Sunday meal. It was so nice to be back. The boys filled the house with stomping feet and laughter. The food was delicious. The weather was gorgeous and beckoned us to play basketball on the community courts before sunset. It was a lovely way to end the weekend. I give thanks for these fine women, again and again.

Tomorrow Benjamin will begin his second week on this Ara-C (Cytarabine) cycle, with his fifth dose of the medicine. He’ll begin the week with a complete blood count. I’m very curious to see the numbers this draw will show us. I expect his platelet, hemoglobin and neutrophil counts have already started to decline. We are entering a period of uncertainty. Will he need transfusions? Will he be hospitalized? Strangely, I feel calm about these unknowns, much more so than I did the last time these were possibilities. I have prepared as much as I can prepare. The rest is a matter of trust, and of love.


If you would like to be filled with gratitude, as I have been, that Benjamin is battling leukemia in 2015, rather than in 1950, or even in 2005, I strongly encourage you to watch Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies, beginning tomorrow evening on your local PBS station. 

6 thoughts on “Day 87

  1. Sounds like all of you had a wonderful day. Benji and Banyan are so lucky to have great parents. Hugs and prayers for next week as all of you continue this battle.

  2. Laura,
    I am so impressed with the ever increasing strength of you and your family on this journey you are graciously sharing.

  3. Glad to hear it!
    And wow, 4 extra hands and two big helping hearts, you are lucky/ blessed indeed!
    It is always wonderful to feel in bad situations you have
    ‘a best case worst case scenario’!
    Your community and family are amazing.

  4. Sooo glad it was a wonderful day!
    By the way, is Grammy showing you what a fantastic basketball player she is? She was one of the BEST in our 7th and 8th grade class!!! She was also a great, loyal, kind friend…. Like she is now! Banyan and Benjamin, keep her playing with you!

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