The ebbing and flowing continues on this gorgeous Sunday. Benjamin needed no morphine, no Kytril, and no vomit basin today. These are all blessings. It’s also a blessing that I have these things at my disposal, thanks to a nurse practitioner who can call in prescriptions for me with a simple text. Benji also ate today, twice: a bean burrito for lunch, and some hash brown casserole and meatloaf that Kathy and Gana made for dinner. He tolerated both food and pills very well. There were moments of tears and discomfort so great I thought we’d be going to the hospital. What can I do to make myself feel better? I would do anything at all. And there were moments so normal it made this reality seem like fiction.
When he was feeling his best today, Benji went fishing with his cousin, played football with his friends, and played board games with his family. He managed all of these things well and took appropriate measures when he needed to rest or take baths or use heat packs. Tomorrow is Benji’s last day without treatment, and I’m grateful for both–the day, and the treatment to follow. It is terrifying, knowing that we are just allowing leukemia cells to proliferate in Benji’s marrow. I understand the balance, of course. This has to be so carefully timed. He has to have enough treatment to keep things at bay, but not too much to toxify his organs, or to delay apheresis at NIH. But he really needs some systemic relief. I look forward to the week ahead, and to the medicine he’ll receive doing exactly what we need it to do.