Just as quickly as anxiety comes, it leaves again. Even in the face of symptoms that might incite fear, control comes easily. I don’t try to reason with these waves anymore. I just give thanks when I’m riding them, and try to get to the surface quickly when they’re washing over me.
Benji had his sweet friend from school over for most of the day today. He’s been so excited for this happy reunion. They played and laughed and ate lunch and laughed and played some more here at home, then I took them to our local trampoline park. Every time I go there, I’m reminded of last July, when clumps of my son’s hair were coming out in my hands. Today, I was reminded that Benji’s body still functions so differently than his peers. After just fifteen minutes of bouncing, the boys returned to me for a water break. Benji was absolutely soaked in acrid, pungent smelling sweat. His friend was bone dry.
When Benji and I were alone again we had yet another conversation about sweat. It comes up a lot. It does set him apart, not only in volume but in odor. I never want him to view this as a negative. I think sweat is so important for his detoxification and I praise him whenever I see it. We just hydrate often, and during these summer months, plunge him in clean water whenever possible.
Benji sent his holiday card entry to the Children’s Cancer Center today, and Michael and I sent letters to Banyan. We are counting down the days until our own happy reunion.